Deconstructing myths surrounding existential woes vis-a-vis identity/character development in terms of emotional (dis)regulation --- Indeed, an inability to isolate the process of the real; psychosomatic medicine as a spiritual condition - human connection as ideology.
How does the logic of obedience presuppose an identification/comprehension of Creator (Creator as true connection/emotional intimacy imbedded in the physical plane of existence)? If blind disbelief is as dangerous as blind faith, it follows that the danger lies in the inefficacy of blindness in thought. This is all good, however, how can thought/belief/conviction/action take place without a previously experienced divine connection? F.F. would suggest that the argumentative framework of intellectualized spirituality inherently pollutes any opportunity (perhaps resulting in total obfuscation) for spiritual/emotional/mental growth. (action --- faith)
I find myself explaining away past happenstances as "god-shots". Escaping physical death is at the forefront in this category, which itself contains a great deal of emotional and philosophical material, quantified in terms of DSM mumbo-jumbo. However, if Creator did not do away with the blessing of my life - permanent marker on the back of my neck, hairspray in hand - in those moments, how then do I come to consider this dance once more? Man's moral sins catch up to me, and I find myself barren and void of joy. Walking this back, theological assessments (fundamental to the formation of logic), can be falsified, to be sure. These falsehoods are ultimately rooted in my inability to comprehend that which is not visible. To be reconsidered: visibility as theology.
The visibility of darkness is not innately problematic, in fact it serves the purpose of relieving sorrow. Steeped in malaise, identity ("disability" "sickness" "mood disorder") is an insoluble dilemma. The intention guiding this entry seems irrelevant and ultimately fruitless in light of Augustine's methods on miracles. Am I the rustic or the astronomer? Shall the shooting star that is life come forth and reveal its absolute worth?
Until then, darkness pervades. Apathy, as opposed to despondency, seems the likeliest predecessor to physical death, which in turn, seems entirely unproblematic. Defeat - scratch that - serenity, is the truest consummation of the spirit.
Think, think, think. Grave (?) thoughts on a sunny day. Sanity escapes me, once more.
- Z
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